Out of a Year of Darkness Comes The Light
It has been a damn long time since I’ve posted anything in here, I sad about this, however, it’s not something I’ve been able to do, for a YEAR, come here and write anything that would read well.
Last October was the beginning of the most awful year I’ve had in decades. This isn’t including the personal family ill health that is also very much impacting our lives over the last few years, which I’m not sharing here at this time, keeping this private for those who are deeply poorly.
Before now, I just have been unable to write about my year without falling into deep sadness and self made snot pool, thats how crap it’s been.
Today I’m in a much more positive space, and feel it is right to share this year with you, in brief, so as not to bore the pants off ya!
After several years of basically hustling like a crazy person, simply to survive, the endless hours in the kitchen took their toll on my body in a very cruel way. Remember my What Does It Mean To Have Health blog? Well, in the space since I wrote that, I sort of didn’t continue on the path I thought was THE right one, and the result was my health continued to deteriorate, I continued on regardless, because I had to, (I’ve edited that blog too) and I saw that the original company I aligned with was so far from what I believed in – purity, clean ingredients, ethics, charitable work and so on. (I’ll not listen to the person who basically pressured me into joining so HE made money off ME and I got more skint!) thankfully now I’m totally aligned with the RIGHT company (as you will see) and with my own soul path to boot.
MY BODY COLAPSED on me! In the worst way She could…she took me out of my kitchen! Landed me with no way to function as a chef let alone be in shape to show up for ANYONE, many days not even for myself.
When I share that this intervention manifested as Frozen Shoulder, I’m sure lots of you will cringe as you know how BAD that is, right? Now, on the surface, this looks like a common issue, and it is. However, when you are working with multiple energies, layers etc, it looks very much different than the surface stuff, and it’s MASSIVE. This is why I’m sharing today with you, and I really hope that if you have this, or similar, it might point you onto a new path of seeing beneath the surface.
At the time this all kicked off, I was not in a good place. I had yet to see clearly what depth this journey would take me to, yet I knew it was far more complex than the physical level, and set off at least, on the right path, to uncovering all the secrets within, so I learned every day new messages and wisdom.
The pain and debility this issue comes with is no joke. It’s some of the worst we can endure, sometimes barely making it through the day and endless nights of excruciating pain, lack of sleep, banishment to another room so Hubby gets rest and so on. Bluntly, I’d not wish this on anyone (apart, maybe, from the people behind the destruction of our world)
The first five months were just unbearable really, forced to do pretty much nothing other than essential activities like going out with our dog, quite literally this was all I could do most days, unable to even pick up my knife to prepare food, resorting to prepared vegetables (and many meals far less than healthy) just so we had a decent meal. Driving almost did me in, but it needed doing, tears, snot the lot! Many days I just cried for hours, screamed in rage at my failure to keep my body functioning, then sat on the couch, heat pad on, praying for relief. In those darkest of months, I was unable to dig deep to uncover the medicine, but I picked away at this riddle when ever I was able to, pulling pieces of it together to form the beautiful picture I see today.
In the first stages, I was very fortunate we had some money aside that we used to get help, in the form of chiropractic sessions. This was combined with endless waiting for appointments etc with the NHS, which drag on forever. I knew I had to get proper help because I do not do drugs! Pharmaceutical ones anyhow. So, we booked up sessions each week to help align my spine again. And it HURT, LOTS. Once we got the all clear nothing was amis with my spine that would stop my chiropractor working, he went for it, and it did make a huge beneficial change, and got me on the way to functioning better, but it took weeks and weeks and I was still in a world of agony every single day.
Depression bites deep when we are in pain for extended periods, and then comes comfort eating, self hate, and so on, and your world narrows a little more every day, as you begin to cancel meet ups with loved ones, back out of plans you would ordinarily LOVE to be doing, and then the offers and invites peter out. Yeah, it is not nice at all to feel alone and abandoned (even when that isn’t reality, we feel it is) I have been on a total Armageddon of rollercoasters over this past year.
As we traveled this unfolding journey, our money ran out, pretty fast, for treatments, and I asked my guides WHY they had left me (I truly believed they had) when I needed them most, and in my many pity party moments, something must have shifted, and I did feel this many times once I had come through another meltdown moment, like the energy we release in tears heals parts of us (it actually does) and opens up a channel for new energy to enter. This came in the form of several Angels who heard my calls for help, and opened their wings for me to walk into their outstretched arms. Well, I sort of stumbled clumsily and cried deep thanks) and I was given the help I so deeply needed to assist my beloved body with Her healing. This is still ongoing, and I’m now able to start giving others help again too.
Here is what has been of huge help to me (maybe for you too)
Vibrational infrared massage
Cannabis oil (CBD and Activated)
Tennis Ball for trigger point release
TheraCane trigger point tool
Some of these we have purchased tools to use at home, and I’m still using them daily, Hubby is too for his aches, The essential oils, infrared massager, fasciablaster, cannabis, cupping and energy work, and I’m still having help from the Angles, just less often now.
During all those months, my right arm out of action, I learned how to use my left arm to do all the activities needed. Then I felt this shoulder begin to weaken, become inflamed, and, just at the point where my right shoulder was beginning to gain movement and get my range back, lefty FROZE too!
I had days when I panicked that I would be unable to – wipe my own behind! I just dreaded his happening, who wouldn’t! I prayed it wouldn’t happen, and that my right shoulder would heal enough before the left one became too frozen – I was already dependent on Anthony to help me get dressed every day (I still can’t put my own bra on) Thankfully, with all the healing we were doing, my right shoulder just managed enough movement to take over again despite my landing up at the Emergency Walk In at the hospital with my left shoulder one Sunday morning when it totally froze up in agony! I literally had 24 hours where I could do nothing with that arm at all. Angel Nicola came with me to the hospital that day, and her work is tremendously beneficial, for, the very next day, I could move my left arm a bit more and the pain went down a little. The picture being revealed more daily.
Now, where my right shoulder totally put me out of action, my left one, I knew far more how to manage. Despite that, I was still unable to drive for almost 9 weeks, and I not quite fully back to driving daily yet, but it is getting easier and I recover faster. One part of this is that all through, I’ve had tremendous neck trauma, repeatedly my neck has been in agony, and needed intense therapy to put right. Our shoulders are a combination of several muscles and most of them connect in to our neck and back muscles, so it all gets messy needing many sessions to help restore order.
So, as I’ve written so much already, I wanted to give you the picture of what I’ve uncovered over this last year.
Our illnesses are only what we can physically SEE on the surface, like the water in the pond, it’s very different beneath the surface as we know, right? Here’s where I wish I could draw the rest for you. When we take a big step OUT of our physical body (aided by others when needed) and become Eagle archetype, we get to view the entire landscape of our illness or debility and see it all in panoramic glory, reading all the layers in the land that give us the picture we need, to become at one with our healing journey or our ReBirthing as I came to see.
Not wishing to leave out circumstances that are out of our direct control, such as family illness, which in our case is Cancer, because this impacts our own energies in a big way. We take on the healing for others when we are on our own healing and awakening path, and for me, it is part of healing the Ancestor and Familial Line through this relationship with cancer, along with setting up the healing for all who follow after us. This has a huge impact on our bodies, which currently is manifesting in many of us being sidelined for long periods of time. Basically, we are holding massive healings round the planet, it is felt and seen but in the same space we see turmoil, destruction and debased behaviour increasingly in our day to day lives as the healing gains momentum, so does the darkness, it is fighting to keep control, but we are pushing the light harder and faster to ensure the darkness is driven back.
That is what is happening on a global scale, locally too.
So, looking at the up close personal rebirthing, it has come to show me in my medicine workings, that, as we know, nobody CHOOSES the path of Shaman for this path is not an easy nor pretty path to follow, it is rock strewn and excruciating at times, then it is the most joyful too when we are helping others access their own medicine. The Medicine People (Shaman) are chosen by their guides and of course, Elders as we awaken our cunning. When I asked for this path, Little did I know what it would bring. Would I change path now? NO, not ever, I might of prepared more though! What I aim to share is, that on accepting to walk the Medicine Path, I invited in the rebirthing with all it entails, to become The Medicine, so I can help others embody theirs. This rebirth is bathed in the breath of the Dragons Fire, intense, intimate, revelatory, heartbreakingly painful, and requires us to let go of being human so that our Dragon Fire can integrate fully. This is the Fire of our Prayers which we breathe for others, the waters, the Earth in the eternal cycle of life.
Right now, this day, I know right where I’m at is where I’ve been meant to be. My physical body is finding balance, I function at around 80% most days now, and know exactly what is required to keep my body healing (more on this another time) and I’m able to show up every day to guide others again, in so many ways, and the forest is a happy place to spend hours once more!
Throughout this year I have refused all medical intervention, done hours of medical research into what they were pushing me to have done, which began with injections and would have ended with SURGERY and only resorted to paracetamol on days that it was impossible to get out of bed without them. Spiralling depression could have taken me out for longer, so I’m grateful for those who have been here with me every step of the way.
To summarise – this year, not just for me, is the year the Medicine People return – I ask, are you feeling this is YOU? Let us learn our breath together and then go do the work!
This has been a long blog, if you got through it all I’m blessed for you taking time and if it resonates, please email me your story.
Hold these words close – Never Give In to pressure from the pharmaceutical industry peddlers (GPS etc) do your own research into HOW their drugs affect our bodies short and long term – the price of going this path is COSTLY. Never be afraid to each our for help repeatedly if need be. Always begin with spinal health on any treatment protocol, alongside balancing your Gut. NATURAL HEALING is very real and very powerful, on so many levels, and for this we need support, for the bullying our medical professionals do is also very real, dressed up as solutions to our problems.
Look beyond the rippled surface and feel what is beneath
Eternal Gratitude to my beloved Anthony, without your love I would have been consumed by the Dragons Fire, you teach me how to embrace it. To my beloved Mum, walking this path with you as we both learn what it is to live in human form and transmute through the years life, death, to life again.
To all my Angels I thank you for coming home to your Sisters pleas as she finds her wings again; Nicola, Rosemarie, Sarah, Jill, Patricia, Sheryl, Jolene, Gina and Steve and to the other Warriors who have shared their pain with me as we sit in tears together finding our truth. In Munay, Peace